What you are hurting about and grieving over is the potential that was there. It’s very normal to grieve that. You will go through a cycle of “If only I had…” and “If only he had…” followed by “We could have had this great thing together” and loop through those thoughts almost in order. Take a step back and notice how your mind will go through these cycles and how one point almost automatically leads to the next which in turn leads to the next in a continual loop. Ways ou

I was once struck by reading a person’s experience of walking through downtown Kailua. I’ve since lost the reference, which may be just as well because I don’t want to embarrass this person. His experience was something like “I felt all the haole [Caucasian] eyes on me. They were suppressing me, everywhere I went. I felt so relieved to be out of there and among my own people.” If you’ve ever been to downtown Kailua - and particularly the street he was referring to, that

Everyone who sees me knows that I always look for practical solutions. Addressing even the simplest problems can pay big dividends. And there is a simple barrier that everyone faces. That barrier is: what do I say in a session? What if I don't have anything to say? This has been going on since Freud put the first person on his couch. Let me say two things about this. The first is that the more you bring to a session, the faster and better the improvement. People who eng